Noticing – a way of increasing your child’s inner motivation

As we continue to implement Conscious Discipline in our classrooms, the TPK staff been working to raise our awareness of how often we use the phrases “Good job!” or “I like the way_____ is doing _____.”  We are consciously replacing those phrases with noticing exactly what your children are doing.  We ask ourselves if a camera can record what we are saying.

So, you may hear more words like “You colored that picture with a lot of colors; that is creative” “You went up the stairs and down the slide; you followed the rules,” or “You made a space for your friend; that was kind.”  These noticing kinds of words communicate to children that we are in the moment with them and paying attention.  We point out their effort, their character, or their accomplishment.   Then they get to take their own delight in those things instead of relying on our judgements. How might this information apply to your home life?

We have included a blog post from MOTHERLY that explains how and why you might want to start noticing more.


“Good job!”

“You are SO smart.”

“What a pretty little girl you are!”

Sounds good, right? Familiar, perhaps, as you praise your child all through the day? Of course, you are doing this from a loving and well-intentioned place. However, praise of this kind can sometimes displace just what our children need the most.

Yes, displace. Stay with me here. I know praise for all they do seems like the way to grow those strong-from-the-inside-out kids. But as we give what feels like encouragement to our children in just the above way, we can undermine their ability to be intrinsically motivated—firing from inside themselves as they tap into their strengths and abilities to, on their own, pursue all things in life. We can undermine their growth as a strong inner-directed person.


Read the rest of the article here:


“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”- Jeremiah 29:11

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